Your life is connected to the lives of many others.
You enjoy a meal brought by a server, and depend on your mechanic to keep your car in running order. Without others, your life would be markedly more difficult. We live our lives by interacting with the various groups of people which allow us to live the way we do.
The relationships in your life have been cultivated and are a process of hard work. It is hard to trust and depend on somebody you just met, therefore taking a long time and a lot of effort in order to get to a point when you do.
The information that you let out to the different people in your life can be seen as currency in certain aspects. Different groups of people will receive differing pieces of information from you.
You might tell your accountant how much you make, but you would never tell that to the person who’s notorious for asking friends for money. You may tell that same friend about a date you had with an attractive woman last week, but you would never tell that to the new date that you have set up next week.
This article examines why sometimes it may be smart to not introduce two people to one another.
It is written from a defensive standpoint, not one that encourages bad intentions.
Two Rivers Converging Into One
There are times when information we expose to one individual, would propagate a negative social interaction with another. These differing pieces of information that groups of people in your life receive from you is the reason why you should keep these groups separate for as long as possible. The critical step in the process is determining which two people should be kept separate from meeting each other.
If two people who you do not want sharing information you’ve disclosed to either one meet, it is best to assume that they’re going to share that information. Since the factors in play would thereby be out of your control, your are essentially helpless. Even if you sit both of them down separately prior to meeting and make them promise you to not share the secrets which you told each one, people’s ability to keep secrets is questionable at best.
You do not want your friend who asks for to borrow money talking and befriending your accountant. Similarly, you may not want your real estate agent telling your business partners about your plans to buy property in another city and thereby selling stake in the business. Whenever previously separated groups of people in your life meet, you should assume that all information each party knows about you has been shared.
Those two groups are now one, and from there on, it’s best to treat them as such especially if they remain in contact with each other. If you continue letting out two different streams of information to each person, you can’t be sure those two streams aren’t converging into one down the line.
Another aspect of keeping people who shouldn’t know each other separated, is the amount you get in return for the information you disclose to each one. If two entities become one, you’ll have one piece of information to trade for one piece in return.
If however, you have many channels which do not converge down the line (people who don’t know each other), you can present the same information and get two different perspectives in return. They won’t have a chance to collaborate in their presentation of information to you, and you’re likely to receive more ‘bang for your buck’.
Keeping some people in your life separated is an effective way to manage sensitive information about yourself, and possibly about your business. If you are of the philosophy that information has an aspect of value to it, then getting more than what you put in should be the goal. Once the different people in your life start getting to know each other, your return on investment (presentation of information) begins to lessen, and at a point becomes negative.