Some people are careful in allowing others into their lives. Negative experiences dictate how careful we are in interacting with people who fit the patterns we’ve determined to be dangerous. Perhaps they’re afraid of being lied to, being tricked, and being played. You can’t guess which negative experiences dictate how careful someone is letting you into their life.
Being surgical in making people like you is thereby a case by case analysis. Some people don’t trust those with beards, or those who smoke cigarettes. Some people are wary of others who are overly charismatic, or inordinately kind. Guessing the exact formula on how to make others like you is difficult to say the least. The most that you can do, is to increase your chances of being considered as a safe addition to someone else’s experience via general but grounded measures.
This article is about showing love to the people / things the person you want to like you, already loves. It is meant to be a guide on how to develop a sense of trust with those who unfairly perceive you to be a threat. This is not written for people with the malicious intentions of taking advantage of others’ trust. If your intentions are not aligned with goodness, regret alone has a powerful capacity to punish you for your actions.
Pet Your Friend’s Dog Like It’s Your Own
A saddening sight to see is a friend of ours being hesitant to pet our dog.
Since this friend met our dog prior, we’d understand them to be comfortable around it. We know that they don’t have any allergies to, or fears of, dogs. This friend may even have a dog of their own and treat ours differently than they treat their own.
They’d tap the dog on the top of the head a few times with their fingertips without allowing themselves to give some healthy, meaningful pets.
Is it because they think our dog’s dirty? Is it because they think our dog’s ugly? Is it because they’re afraid of our dog? Perhaps they think their dog is simply better or more important.
When people treat the same thing they own differently when we own it, it leaves a bad taste in our mouths. The same can be seen in those who are careful to not get any dirt into their car but don’t think twice about getting in cars their friends own with muddy shoes.
Try your best to be empathetic to how much those around you love the things in their lives. A sense of trust can be built from little things such as simply showing someone’s pet as much love as the owner would show it when walking through the door.
People notice how well you treat the things / people / pets in their lives. The little actions you take surrounding the things others love tend to add up to big results. Witnessing our friends go in to give loving pets to our dog without hesitation shows that they trust, and are comfortable with, what we have around us.
In trusting, being comfortable with, and protecting the things that people own and love, you send the message that you’re a positive addition to the lives of others.
Those We Love Are a Part of Our Community
Liking someone involves bringing them into our lives. You may not want to introduce the people who you’ve met for the first time to your close family members. As time goes on though, and as love grows, the chances of introducing important people in your life to one another increase. We consistently form separate communities and merge them together as our love for each aligns in strength.
Introducing your significant other to your parents is a sensitive task. Should your significant other perform well on that first dinner, and show love to the people who raised you, your love for your significant other will increase. You’ll leave the dinner from your parents’ home and consider yourself lucky to be with the person you’re with. You’ll look your significant other in the eye and feel an overwhelming, warm, sense of adoration.
The same concept is at play when we pet and play with someone’s dog, or give their kids a gift when we come by their house. People who show love to the people we love, makes us like them just a little more. It establishes proof that they can function within our close-knit community. The fact that they love, and are loved by, the people who we know and trust, enables us to let our guard down against them.
Making people like you is greatly dependent on loving the people they love themselves. Rather than love existing between two people irrespective of other factors, it is fluid, and it flows. The factors that influence someone’s love for you may be infinite and hard to understand, but as long as you know that they’re not simple, you’re on the right path.