Having seconds forced onto your plate after you compliment the satiating dinner you just had places you in a situation to reject. Your social state goes from wanting to compliment to needing to vehemently reject and refuse.
The individual whose dinner you complimented would have fumbled their acceptance of that compliment. They’d have mistaken your compliment to be a form of request for wanting more. They wouldn’t go through the process of eliciting you to confirm that you want more, but rather, they’d force their assumption on you.
The dynamics which govern this specific scenario can be observed in many crevices of our social interactions with others. Particularly in hospitable settings while surrounded with friends and family, our compliments can often turn into unwarranted assumptions that we want more of whatever we complimented.
This article is written to warn you against adopting this belief system.
A surefire way to make someone want to retract the compliments they give you is to force the things they compliment down their throats.
You Control How Many Compliments You Receive by How You Receive Them
Picture your favorite supermodel walking the red carpet. The compliments this individual hears travel from every degree of their auditory range. The ones who photograph express delight. Their peers on the red carpet compliment their shoes and wardrobe, and those following online ensure their love is felt with likes and comments.
The complimented model does not swivel back and forth in reaction to every compliment. They stay focused on what they need to do at the current moment in time. They’re not seen catering to every person who’s given them a compliment, and they don’t allow others’ compliments to dictate their course of action. They have things they need to do, notwithstanding whether they hear your compliment or not.
A person who’s been complimented before understands that compliments continue coming when desires remain unfulfilled.
The trap that compliments set is one of encouraging you to favorably react to them. However, as you change how you act in the face of compliments you receive, you’ll sway from the state in which you received those compliments in the first place.
Always err on the side of leaving those who compliment you unfulfilled with what they compliment. Their compliments will surely stop once they feel they’ve had enough of whatever it is they complimented.
It is thereby in your best interest to not think of compliments as requests for providing more of what was complimented. Don’t sing another song when people mention you to have a good voice, and don’t start wearing flashy colors to work every day when you’re complimented on the flashy shirt you wear once in a while.
Leaving Yourself Open to a Rejection After Already Receiving a Compliment
If we set underhanded compliments aside, compliments are generally considered to be positive feedback. You’ve cooked a good meal or you’ve performed well; and you’ve been genuinely complimented for it.
In a search for more of that sweet complimentary drip, you’ll be encouraged to keep cooking and keep singing. Much like pulling down the lever at the slot machine, you’ll yearn for another taste of the complimentary dialogue.
What you’ll likely find however, is that your early winnings will fade with every attempt to garner new compliments. You’ll place people in a position to reject you if you push what they complimented onto them. They’ll have no choice but to reject your food and singing at some point. That point often comes earlier than you think it will. It can even come right after you’ve received your compliment.
Being rejected in your attempts to continue rolling in the bed of someone else’s praise will nullify the initial compliment you received. Your most recent state would be a rejected one. It’ll be felt more than the compliment. You’ll serve to nullify, if not ruin, what you’ve worked hard to attain early on.
It seems best to hear your compliments, give thanks, and cash out. Doing so will keep those wanting more to keep complimenting, and it’ll save you from forcing yourself into a spot of rejection.