October 28th, 2021

Why You Can’t Force Others to Listen

Disclaimer: This article offers no practical methods or strategic/situational advice. It is written to be a motivational piece which hopefully encourages a shift in overall perspective. To avoid your disappointment, please be aware there is limited pragmatic, actionable advice contained below.

One of the more painful realizations of life is that sometimes, no matter how right what you say turns out to be, it will be ignored by others when you say it. Being ignored when you are passionate about the message you’re sending feels like throwing punches at a wall. With every word you say you’ll further hurt yourself rather than affect those who listen. You’ll begin to question whether what you say is true. Anger may arise at those who ignore you, and you can find yourself conjuring elaborate schemes to make them listen.

The first step to alleviating the pain of being ignored is to accept the fact that you may be wrong in what you’re saying. The second step – and perhaps the more important one – is to understand that those who ignore you are not right to do so, but shouldn’t be forced to listen. This article will aim to communicate reasons why you shouldn’t try to force others to listen to what you have to say. Below are two, perhaps unconventional, arguments.

There Would Be No Beauty If They Listened

If you were given the ability to force anyone of your choosing to listen to what you say, then they would be stripped of their autonomy. You would be able to control people in direct manners, and would be able to benefit yourself whenever you chose to. Controlling others in direct, explicit ways, may may seem like a desirable goal to work towards. However, life makes achieving it harder the more you try.

No person is a slave to everything you say. Controlling others is thereby governed by this rule. You will be forced to find ways of controlling others which entice them to change behavior, rather than force them to. Discovering these methods of altering the behavior of those around you will lead you toward paths which veer away from forceful methods. You will discover beauty, you’ll witness the power of positivity, and you’ll be encouraged to genuinely care for others’ growth. These are the things people respond to most in the long-term, overall basis throughout life.

If others were forced to listen to you, you would not strive improve yourself to make them want to listen. Your words would be taken as truth, and you’d get lazy with what you say. You would not take your thoughts and actions seriously, and would limit the growth of other people as well as your own. Allow people to disagree with you in hopes of them finding their own meaning. Allow others to explore other avenues which may be more correct than the one you’re on, and maybe you can learn from their discoveries. Observe the paths that people take in life, and find peace over your lack of control about what they choose to say or do. You’ll discover new sides to life previously unseen, and new perspective on problems you thought you’ve figured out.

There is beauty in the fact that everyone can think for themselves and discover their own truths. Be careful of others who force you to listen to their thoughts. They are not right in implementing forceful methods of getting their word across. If you care for your own autonomy, then realize how untrue everything you say might turn out to be. Fear the responsibility you take on by labeling your words as truth, and limit the forcefulness your speech contains.

There Would Be More Regret If They Listened

The responsibility mentioned above is one which can lead to regret. Should you label information which causes others pain as true, you will subject yourself and others to regret. You will regret for being over-confident in what you spoke into the world, and your listeners will regret listening to you. Use the fact that others will sometimes ignore what you have to say as possible protection against yourself. Use those moments as learning opportunities and evaluate possible reasons why others may not have listened to your ideas. In general, people listen to the things they perceive as beneficial to their state of somatic and cognitive well-being.

Take the fact that you’re being ignored as a trigger for improving how beneficial others perceive your words to be. Rather than forcing them to listen to something which they do not find beneficial to their lives, yearn to entice them with beneficial information. Always be in tune with what people want to listen to rather than what you think they should be listening to. Figuring out ways to say what others don’t want to hear in a manner which will entice them to listen is the name of the influencing game.

Limit your regret in life by consistently trying to improve the lives of others with every word you utter. Your words hold that power, so do not underestimate the damage – as well as the benefit – that your words can carry. Your words can not only damage your well-being through the form of regret and unintended consequences, but can also lead others into the darker realms of life.

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Disclaimer of Opinion: This article is presented only as opinion. It does not make any scientific, factual, or legal claims in any way.