An attractive aspect of meeting new people and making new friends is the exploration of their personal mystery.
Our bonds with individuals are built upon their subtle revelations which give birth to our deep admiration. The small things matter most when bonding with new faces and personalities.
The way someone reacts to a humorous happening, for instance, can be adorable or humorous in itself. An individual’s squeal after being jumpscared, can make us fall in love with that quirk of theirs. The reactions of those who find themselves in an emergency, can take command of the respect we reserve for special individuals in life.
On the unattractive side of the attraction spectrum, small things play a significant role too. Everyone possesses an annoying trait or two. Someone’s laugh may get under your skin, and their habit of saying, “Like,” or “Umm,” can make you inpatient in conversation.
There are even some, who do totally unpredictable things. The innocent and healthy cute guy / girl you met can suddenly bust out a cigarette and start smoking so comfortably, it’ll seem like they’ve done it for a lifetime. Another, can begin using curse words excessively without showing regard for the space or setting they’re in. The innocence you perceived people as possessing, can dissolve in an instant.
We often find ourselves having set the expectation of being innocent, only to then be trapped in that label. Our secrets may be dark, embarrassing, and unhealthy. Our tendencies may be off putting. Our history and environment may have shaped us to be more a savage than a saint. The people we meet can leave disappointed with the things we say and the colors we show.
This article is about being yourself in the face of meeting someone more pure or innocent than you.
The goal, is to empower you to be yourself whilst widening the perception of those you meet without scaring them away.
Show an Understanding of Their Perspective
The first thing you should remember is to remain aware of the floating perceptions around you.
Take note of what about you may be off putting to the individual you’ve recently met.
Figure out just how pure or innocent they may be, and which color you show would they internally be put off by.
A simple comment acknowledging their discomfort surrounding your choice of words or actions would do well to place you in a favorable light. Remember, it’s not necessarily the things you do that would be turn offs, it would be the mindset that you do them from. The worries of the individual you’re interacting with would be related to the fact that you don’t share a common understanding with them.
In order to preserve the sense of commonality, show them that you understand their frame of mind surrounding the off putting things that you may do. Make it known that you understand your cigarette smoking is a bad habit from onlookers’ standpoint. Commentate on the fact that you perhaps speak in a way which makes people uncomfortable but are simply a product of your childhood setting.
Showing people you meet that you understand their perspective, even if you don’t act in a way that you do, will lessen the social blow. You don’t have to change the way you act, just be empathetic to how others perceive the way you act. View yourself from a third person’s perspective for just a moment, and understand how you may look. It’ll show the people around you that you’re aware, and that you don’t mean to be off putting to others.
Don’t Pressure Them to Accept Your Perspective
Being secure in being yourself entails not pressuring anyone else to be like you. When unveiling your true colors to an individual, be fully secure in yourself. Don’t try to sway them to act, talk, or think like you. Simply be what you are, and let them continue being what they are too.
Part of the discomfort “innocent” people feel around someone a bit “badder” than them, is the pressure to be “bad” themselves.
Relieve those around you of that pressure by being accepting and understanding of who they are without scrutiny in any form. Don’t make them sound cute for being so innocent as compared to you, and don’t be proud of your tendency to be more “bad” than someone else.
If your natural state is what you’re showing to the world, then simply reside in your natural state without attempting to influence others’ states of being. Allow individuals around you to understand you to be who you are but to not feel a pressure to change themselves to better suit you.
Don’t Change How You Act Once Your True Colors Are Unveiled
Showing someone our true colors seems to entice us to mold to their perception even more. People often change how they act after their true colors are exposed. They begin acting more “badass” for no apparent reason.
For example, after it’s discovered that someone grew up in a rough part of town, that person can find value in overplaying their negative traits and tendencies. It provides shock value, and seemingly makes them more interesting from their perspective.
The feeling of shocking someone more pure and innocent than you is an interesting one. It makes you feel like a villain for just a bit, and it often makes you want to act out in a villainous way to further portray that image.
Keep tabs on the desire to seem less pure than you actually are when around someone who’s shocked by your innocence.
When your true colors show, don’t turn up the brightness and contrast.
Let them show and continue being the person who you were prior to when your colors were exposed for the world to judge.