How do you feel right now?
Are you comfortable? Perhaps you’re reading this while sitting in a comfortable position around those who bring comfort to your life. Others may be reading this on their commute to work for instance, where they’re neither physically or psychologically comfortable being themselves.
The people we choose to surround ourselves with after a hard day’s work tend to make us feel comfortable. We find some people easier to open up to whilst sharing our deeper feelings or desires.
Your ability to make someone comfortable around you is a powerful tool in attracting people. If you’re good at making people feel comfortable, you wouldn’t only attract their presence, but become an attractive entity with whom they’re willing to share meaningful information.
This article offers two things to remember when attempting to make people feel comfortable around you.
The subject matter leans more toward the notion of psychological comfort, but can also be applied to physical comfort as well. Making people feel comfortable around you may depend on you letting go of some of your own comfortable desires. Your ability to attract good people into your life should take precedent however. Think through just how much you’re willing to sacrifice in order to become an attractor of others.
Support What They Feel Good Doing
A big reason for why we feel comfortable around others, is because of the support we receive from them. Whether you’re chasing your dreams or chasing the bus, those who bring us comfort will strive to help us achieve our goals. We feel comfortable around those we tell our goals to, and we don’t fear their judgment or advice.
By supporting what others feel good doing, you will place yourself into a category of people who bring them comfort. Akin to preparing a clean, cushioned bed for an exhausted traveler, the comfort you bring by supporting others’ desires will make them like you by necessity rather than choice. They will perceive you as an enabler for the things they want to do most in life. Since what they feel good doing brings them comfort, the people who support their behaviors adopt the comfort-bringing label onto themselves.
Whenever possible, support those you want to make comfortable with factual evidence for why the things they do, are good to do. As a basic example, supporting a person who has adopted the “Carnivore” diet may involve diligently preparing a meal tailored perfectly for their needs. In conversation with them, you can mention what you’ve learned regarding the beneficial effects of the carnivore diet. Mention favorable studies you’ve read on the topic, and encourage their behavior by ridding them of any self doubt others in their live gave birth to.
Support what others feel good doing (factually when possible) to make them comfortable being around you. As mentioned prior, this may depend on you suppressing some of your own comforts. If for instance you’re a devout vegetarian, cooking a meal for someone following the “Carnivore” diet can bring discomfort to your life. Your pans will smell like meat. The other side of the same coin is never allowing anyone to eat anything other than vegetarian meals when in your home. The latter would serve to make some uncomfortable. Thereby the balance is yours to figure out. Cater to what others feel good doing just enough to remain happy yourself in the process.
Excuse Their Bad Traits
Do you remember the first time you burped or farted around a significant other? It is a seemingly insignificant event which carries with it meaning. Nobody likes an unapologetic farter or burper. Those behaviors signify traits which aren’t favorable to witness right off the bat with a significant other. As time goes on however, you become more comfortable. Comfort continues to build until the first audible fart is released. There will be giggles and silly looks exchanged, but behind all that, the event will signify a level of comfort you’ve developed with that person. They’ve chosen to excuse your more undesirable traits, and your comfort level around them has increased.
There are undesirable traits about each one us. Your posture reading this now may look unsightly to those around you. The act of you biting your nails may disgust onlookers. Leaving your beard shavings in the sink may never fail to induce a lecture from those who live with you. When our bad traits are excused, we feel more comfortable being ourselves. Nobody likes being pestered about things they do wrong according to someone else’s standards.
This one takes patience, but its execution is powerful in making people feel comfortable around you. Remember, you’re not going to spend your life with most you meet. Make the people around you feel comfortable by excusing the habits which irritate you and society at large. The price you pay for doing so may be worth it in the long run.