It’s often difficult to accuse someone of being the owner of mistakes they’ve made. Our findings may be off, they can respond with their own, and a debate may break out. The people you accuse of being at fault in everyday life will not like you. Prior to placing blame on others, you should be content with the fact that you will be disliked by those you blame. We often need to establish clear ownership of blame in order to move toward potential solutions. Those with whom the blame resides are likely to possess the solution for the mishap at hand. This article is centered around those who plead innocence in the face of blame they have received – and how you should react to them doing so.
The first priority to treating those who plead innocence is to act toward them with warmth. Believe them if there is no evidence to point the other way. Listen to their defense in full, and allow them to express their argument while feeling as little pressure as possible. Your personal goal should be to never accuse someone truly innocent of committing a misdoing. With that goal driving your interaction with those who plead innocence, you’ll treat them with warmth and respect.
Being warm toward those who plead innocence also serves to lower the guard of the one in question. If they really are guilty of whatever they’ve been accused of, their defenses will be up and counter attack in full force. They will be detailed in their attempt to lie, and will be committed to defending against those who don’t believe them. Showing those who plead innocence warmth will lower their guard against you. You’ll be characterized as a person who is on their side, as they desperately cling for people to back them up. In turn, you’ll increase the chances of them exposing evidence to you.
As someone who cares for truth, your approach of pulling the truth out of others needs to be as unobtrusive as possible. Focus on gently massaging truth out of others rather than yanking it out. Truth is never packaged and explicitly labelled for us. It comes out in a slow drip, and it’s our job to collect it and make of it what we can. Treating those who plead innocence with warmth will do well to prevent regret on your end, while serving to gently massage out any truth that individual is withholding.
Let’s suppose that you can factually prove someone’s deception. Would you come out full-blast and accuse them of their misdoings? How would you react being armed with the truth that someone else is attempting to cover? This mostly comes down to a matter of opinion. The opinion this article presents is to show hints of knowing the truth, but not explicitly expressing that information.
The guiding structure everything you read on Influence Advice follows is to first do good things for yourself, then those who are close, and finally for others in the world. This hierarchy is important to maintain in everything that you do. In this scenario, your supposed knowledge of the truth behind someone else’s lies should be treated with care. The first priority is to limit your personal regret. You wouldn’t want to let others get away with crimes, but also shouldn’t be too confident in accusing them of being guilty. Crying wolf should be avoided – as you place yourself in a vulnerable position doing so.
Much like the metaphor mentioned above, turn your expression of truth into a slow drip for others to sip slowly. Especially with those who plead innocence to the grave, subtle hints that point to you knowing the truth will be effective in derailing their arguments. These hints serve to place doubt rather than express your knowledge. Placing doubt in the mind of the guilty will convolute their defense. It will weaken their arguments as they scramble to cover all bases.
Assume a friend of yours lies about what they did on the weekend. You have evidence against what they claim, thereby know that they are lying. They tell everyone at the office about their weekend’s supposed extravagant events in another town. There you are, knowing for a fact you saw them in the city you both work in on the same days in question.
Hinting at the truth in this instance, could shape into mentioning your act of being at the event you saw your friend at. The mere act of doing so is enough to scramble their thoughts. You’ll witness a noticeable change in the presentation of their story, and they’ll begin to decrease the intensity with which they spread their lie.
Subtle hints at knowing the truth will protect you from the repercussions of voicing truth explicitly. It is difficult for those being dishonest to be angered at you for showing small hints. There is nothing for them to react to, thereby they must live with those hints simmering in their thoughts going forward.
Next in line:
In the News
Read our analyses of current events by becoming a Patron.
- Why We Instinctively Fear People with No Core Beliefs
- How to Handle People Who Mask Ignorance by Taking Over the Conversation
- How to Deal With Needy Managers – A 3-Step Approach
- How to Make Authoritative / Powerful People Like You Quickly
- Why You Should Fill the Kettle With More Water Than You’ll Drink