Why There Is No Winning When on a Quest for Peace

You’ll find yourself in positions of defending others in life. Your friends will find themselves in altercative situations, your elderly parents will have their parking spot stolen, and your kids will be bullied at school. As someone who strives to become a leader in the community you foster and propel toward growth, you’ll be looked to for protection. Your kids will come home with tears running down their face, and your frail old parents will make you feel regret for not being there to protect them against malice.

This article is about your conduct in the face of a threat to your friends, family, or others you’ve elected to protect.  It is also about attacks pointed your way. This is written for those who seek not only to protect, but maybe to avenge as well. It’s written to limit damage, and to help reestablish the peaceful, uninterrupted state, of operating from the middle of two contending sides.

The assumption being made on this page, is that you value peace over enacting any form of revenge on those who either threaten, or hurt, someone that you care for. The perspective of desiring to calm a, perhaps violent, situation without propelling it to grow is the perspective which backs the words you’re reading now.

 


The Happy Medium Is Not Achieved by Way of Drastic Measures


People’s sense of fairness, and lack thereof, is finely tuned. Though you may be warranted in enacting some sort of revenge on those who’ve caused you pain, you wouldn’t achieve the goal of bringing peace to a situation with that goal in mind. You’d serve to propel a situation toward more damaging realms. The desire to bring forth peace in a contending situation, involves taking a hit to your desire to win. That desire to win, can entail seeking to punish your child’s bully, or dropping a bomb of your own on those who’ve dropped a bomb on you.

The happy medium is achieved when one of two contending parties elects to make its way toward it. It’s the hardest step to take in battle, as it can be interpreted as a sign of loss. However, a sense of loss does not live in the happy middle. It lives on the opposite side of the desire to win. Remember that in a desperate search for peace, you may sometimes have to take the first step toward it. Attempt to curb your desire to avenge others’ pain, or to seek revenge for attacks against yourself. Peace is easiest to attain in the early phases of confrontation. Practice simply not reacting, or responding to, attacks from others which are pointed your way. Elect to only protect, but not respond.

The victory attained on that front would be one of putting a stop to an escalating disturbance of peace between yourself and another party. Becoming a neutral entity among confrontation is a difficult thing to do in practice. This article is written to simply motivate you to look toward that general direction in times of confrontation. Do not concede, but don’t proceed either. Simply be, observe, and react in an effort protect yourself and others, but to never cause anyone else unneeded pain.

Let go of your desire to win in situations which pose a risk to disturbing the general peace around you. These habits are ingrained in us all, but they are outdated, and unneeded. Your life, or the lives of others, are seldom at risk in the modern world we occupy. There are often ways to exit contending situations you find yourself thrown into. Try to look for those ways prior to contributing to the growth of a contending situation. Peace should be strived for in every circumstance of life, as there is just too much to miss out on should that peace be disturbed.

Practice forgiving people for hurting you and the ones you love. It’s a difficult habit to entice yourself to form. Set an example for the ones around you on how best to maintain peace. Make your way out of situations which are dangerous or harmful whilst trying your best to remain in the happy middle. In doing so, you’ll more effectively entice aggressors to join you there. It’ll be a step toward winning the most important prize.

Take from this article the notion that peace is only established when at least one side of a dispute acts in a peaceful manner. The hope is that the other party joins. Practice being non confrontational, and forgiving other intelligent mammals for exhibiting animalistic traits.

 

Next in line:

Why You Win When You Forgive

Book Recommendation: 

The Way of Zen

The Way of Zen by [Watts, Alan W.]

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