Coming across a self-righteous narcissist is an experience many have witnessed. Falling victim to their manipulative, aggressive, and vengeful attacks is stressful. The enemies which are capable of enacting the most pain are often birthed from previously established positive relationships in which you’ve grown close. Colleagues, business partners, friends, and ex-husbands have the capacity of turning into aggressive and persistent enemies which make it a mission to cause pain.
This article takes the stance of passive management of enemies into defeating themselves with their aggression. It is an effective method which both protects you from making mistakes, and effectively disarms those who’ve made it a mission to cause you pain.
Secrecy Incites Folly
As you witness a relationship turning sour, know that all information about you now becomes supplementary to those who seek to bring you pain. Information management is an exercise you should get familiar with as you’re made aware of someone seeking to bring you pain, ruin your reputation, or achieve more nefarious goals.
The targets of their attacks depend on information for accuracy. They need to know what you care about, what you’re doing, what your plans are, and who you confide in. This is a major reason why the harshest enemies are made out of those who we’ve previously trusted and let close.
Secrecy incites folly in your enemies, as they become frustrated, paranoid, and reckless in their attempts to uncover your secrets. They may resort to lies, rumors, or traps, which will expose their malicious intentions and damage their own reputation.
By keeping your secrets, you force your enemies to act on false or incomplete information. They will waste their time and energy chasing shadows, while you remain calm and focused on your goals. You will also gain an advantage over your enemies, as you will know more about them than they know about you. You can use this information to counter their attacks, or to strike when they are most vulnerable.
By withholding information from your enemies, you can create mystery and intrigue around yourself. You can make them curious, jealous, or fearful of what you are hiding. You can also use secrecy to surprise your enemies with unexpected moves or revelations.
Silence Encourages Aggression
One of the most powerful tools you have in dealing with enemies is silence. Silence is often misunderstood as a sign of weakness, submission, or fear. However, silence can also convey confidence, dignity, and self-control. When you are faced with an enemy who is aggressive, manipulative, and vengeful, silence can be your best ally.
Silence can encourage your enemy to expose their true intentions, motives, and weaknesses. By not responding to their provocations, insults, and threats, you force them to escalate their attacks and reveal their own flaws. You also deprive them of the satisfaction of seeing you react emotionally, which is what they want. Silence can make your enemy frustrated, angry, and desperate. They may resort to more extreme measures that will backfire on them and damage their reputation.
Silence can also protect you from making mistakes that could harm your own interests. When you are silent, you avoid saying or doing things that could be used against you later. You also avoid giving your enemy any information that they could exploit or twist. Silence can help you maintain your composure and think clearly about your next move. You can use silence to plan your strategy, gather evidence, and seek allies. Silence can give you the upper hand in the long run.
Mistakes Complement Aggressiveness
The first thing to understand about your enemies is that they are prone to making mistakes. Their aggressiveness blinds them to the consequences of their actions and the reactions of others. They act impulsively, without thinking things through, and often end up regretting their choices. They also tend to overestimate their own abilities and underestimate yours. They think they are smarter, stronger, and more cunning than you, and they don’t expect you to fight back or outsmart them.
This is where you can use their mistakes to your advantage. Instead of confronting them directly, which would only fuel their anger and ego, you can let them dig their own grave. You can do this by staying calm, avoiding unnecessary conflicts, and focusing on your own goals. You can also subtly provoke them into exposing their weaknesses, revealing their secrets, or alienating their allies. You can use humor, irony, or sarcasm to mock them or make them look foolish. You can also use facts, logic, or evidence to challenge their claims or expose their lies.
By doing this, you are not only protecting yourself from their attacks, but also making them lose credibility, respect, and influence. You are showing them that you are not afraid of them, and that you are not an easy target. You are also making them waste their time, energy, and resources on a futile battle that they cannot win. Eventually, they will realize that they have been defeated by their own arrogance and stupidity, and they will either give up or self-destruct.
Turbulence Creates Openings for Precise Blows
When your enemies are driven by anger, they are likely to act impulsively and recklessly. They may lash out at you without considering the consequences, or they may overestimate their own abilities and underestimate yours. This creates opportunities for you to strike back with precision and effectiveness. You don’t need to engage in a direct confrontation, which may expose you to unnecessary risks or escalate the conflict. Instead, you can use their own mistakes and weaknesses against them, and let them dig their own grave.
By staying calm and composed, you can observe their patterns of behavior, anticipate their moves, and exploit their vulnerabilities. You can also use subtle tactics to provoke them into making more errors, such as feigning ignorance, playing dumb, or acting indifferent. The more frustrated and desperate they become, the more likely they are to self-destruct.
You Lose When You Respond in Kind
The natural reaction to being attacked by an enemy is to fight back. You may feel angry, hurt, and betrayed by their actions. You may want to expose their lies, defend your reputation, and seek justice. However, responding in kind to your enemies can be a losing strategy. It can escalate the conflict, damage your image, and waste your time and energy.
Instead of reacting to your enemies, you should focus on acting in your own best interest. You should ignore their provocations, avoid their traps, and pursue your goals. By doing so, you will not only protect yourself from harm, but also create a contrast between your calmness and their aggression. This will make them look bad in the eyes of others, and eventually undermine their own credibility and influence.
Your enemies may try to bait you into responding in kind by spreading rumors, making false accusations, or sabotaging your work. They may hope that you will lose your temper, make mistakes, or give up. However, if you remain composed and confident, you will show them that their attacks have no effect on you. You will also show others that you are a mature and professional person who can handle difficult situations. This will enhance your reputation and respect, and weaken your enemies’ power over you.
By not responding in kind to your enemies, you are not being passive or weak. You are being strategic and smart. You are letting your enemies defeat themselves with their own negative behavior. You are taking the high road and staying true to your values and principles. You are managing your enemies into self-defeat.
Relax When They’re Hot, Pick Them Apart When They’re Fatigued
Humans have an inherent need to rest, recoup, and decompress. Even the most evil of enemies you encounter will have normal, human needs to attend to. They will have families, duties, and professional responsibilities. Their sights on you will experience waves of passion followed by waves of calm.
When they’re heated, you relax. Enjoy the show and simply protect yourself from any direct damage they may inflict. Allow them to expend their energy and their desire to cause you pain. Gather information on their tendencies and habits as they seek to manipulate and deliver pain. Notice what information about you they have and what information they’ve got wrong. Make a habit of looking for weaknesses in times of passion on their side.
When a wave of calmness and fatigue engulfs their burning desires to express their disdain toward you, act on what you’ve learned. Whether your actions are offensive or defensive, this will be the time to act on the information you’ve gathered from them as they were possessed with passion.
Adjust Your Plans To Benefit You, Not Get Back at Them
A game that enemies go on to win is one of tit-for-tat attacks. An enemy is mighty when they succeed in making you play their game. The mightiest of enemies are skilled at making you lose focus on the goals that place you in a winning position and attract your focus on their deeds.
Be disciplined in observing your enemies’ actions without feeling a need to plan around them. Know that distraction is a major part of their strategy, whether conscious on their end or not. Ensure that your responses to your enemies are always made with your personal goals at the forefront of your strategy to act.
Being reactionary will not only expose you to making trivial mistakes such as losing your temper, but will put the goals that matter on the back burner. You will lose time for no good reason, and will empower your enemies to engage in a context which is comfortable for them to operate in.