Why You Win Strategically When You Forgive

The tune of people telling you that forgiveness is the way has been overplayed.

People seem to inherently know that forgiveness is the way toward contentment and peace, but that notion seems to always be forgotten. Forgiveness only seems to come after the ones we forgive are either shamed or disproved.

Are we capable of forgiving those who have not apologized? Are we able to look past those who were not caught and shamed for their misdeeds? Our vengeful nature entices us to seek balance. It entices us to communicate and share the pain we feel when others metaphorically stab us in the gut.

This article is yet another reminder for you to attempt forgiveness. The perspective this is written from however, is not an emotional one, but one of attaining the strategic upper hand in life.

Below are reasons why forgiveness can propel you toward victory in the various aspects that encompass the life you live. Forgiveness in this regard, exists without seeking apology or vengeance. The forgiveness mentioned in this article, is a peace which solely exists within you.

Disclaimer: This article is written within the context of legality. Laws exist for a reason, and you should always involve law enforcement when you’re subject to illegal acts.

 


It’s Easier to Forgive the Ignorant


It is easier to forgive a child making up falsehood than it is to forgive an adult doing the same. The adult should know better according to our understanding of the world. The adult should not be ignorant to reasons why lying is not right, and to the disgracefulness of the deed itself.

When we forgive the child for lying, after communicating why it’s bad, we comfort ourselves by advocating that ignorance was at play. The child has not lived and has not yet learned. We label the child as being ignorant in our act of forgiveness, and promise to keep a closer eye on whether the same deed is committed down the line.

The easier it is for you to forgive, the more ignorant the person you’re forgiving turns out to be. It’s easier to forgive people when the pain they’ve caused was unintentional. It’s easier to forgive someone who accidentally spills a coffee on our white shirt, rather than someone who does it as an impractical joke.

However, all misdoings against you can be linked to some sort of ignorance, and therefore be forgiven.

The person who intentionally spills coffee on your shirt as a joke is ignorant to the inappropriateness of that behavior. People who cause others pain are ignorant to how they don’t align with being liked, acting kindly, and propelling positivity. Those who make painful, sly, remarks are ignorant to why their habit entices people to dislike them.

Attempt to connect people’s malicious behavior to ignorance whenever possible. The quickest way of doing so is to forgive trusting that ignorance was present.

If the malicious behavior is immediate and in your face, explain why the behavior is malicious, and then forgive. Those who watch from the sidelines will question why you’re so quick to forgive, for which you’ll answer with your understanding of the perpetrator’s ignorance in some facet of what’s at hand.

The ones who caused you pain will expect a reaction out of you, either for revenge or for justice. Forgiveness on your end will entice them, more than anything else, to reevaluate their behavior toward you because you’d label them as ignorant rather than simply incorrect. Ignorance is a more vulnerable and embarrassing position.  Their acts toward you will be seen as weak and ineffective.

 


To Not Forgive Is to Perceive Someone as a Threat


There are people whom we don’t forgive for years. The behaviors they’ve exhibited were so malicious and painful, that we can’t risk allowing these people back into our lives to do the same things over. We perceive them as a threat to at least our happiness, if not our emotional stability and more.

There are times when people are legitimate threats to your psychological well being, and forgiving them would be akin to shooting yourself in the foot. However, if you were to analyze the people whom you find it difficult to forgive, their malicious acts may not exactly be threatening in any way.

We tend to hold onto minute grudges, and empower those who’ve caused us pain. We go into unnecessary wars because of simple comments or angry emails. We are too quick in labeling people as threats to our emotions. The act of forgiving, apart from labeling people as ignorant, serves to communicate that you don’t see them as a threat.

An old granny spreading gossip about us is easier to forgive than if it were an influential coworker doing the same. We wouldn’t perceive the old granny as a threat to our success, and thereby can calmly deal with the lies and embellishments being spread about us.

Forgive people to dis-empower them. Forgiving not only labels them as ignorant to why their behavior is bad, but also serves to not label them as threats in any way. Watch their actions toward you from an observer’s perspective rather than a victim’s. Observe people who act maliciously toward you and do your best to align them with ignorance and weakness. Forgiveness is a simple way of doing that.

 


Forgiveness Calms the Turbulent Waters of Your Own Reactions


A contentious disagreement is where forgiveness perhaps shines brightest. The more contentious your interactions are with those whom you may call your enemies, the better the option of forgiveness becomes.

Those who seek to demean you and destroy your reputation, for example, aren’t simple thinkers. They take actions with the consideration of your reactions to those actions in mind. The devious ones thereby plan to cause annoyance now, but deliver the real blows in an arena which they drag you into.

People will thereby dig at you, annoy you, and encourage anger to build just so they can win the argument that’s birthed from that.

Your challenge is thereby not how you respond to detractors or supporters to what you’ve already said and done.  The challenge is to navigate the impressive ways others nudge you in the direction they want you to travel next.

Some will summon the veins on their forehead by making remarkable vocal use of a single breath. Others will approach you quietly, calmly packaging their seemingly humble desires to be heard by you. In the face of anyone operating with malicious intent, it is important to arm them all with the same tools; to even out their efforts at expelling truth.

That’s done by forgiving malice, stupidity, conspiracy, and manipulation.  Forgive the ones who attack you, not your opinion. Sympathize with those who’ve let their foolishness pull them onto unsteady ground. Recognize, observe, and then let go of people’s desire to push a certain agenda, or enact a certain plan.

A sense of forgiveness is something no player is prepared for in the game of contention. Strategically, it’s powerful in that respect. It will calm the seas for you to swim through with less commotion. A sense of forgiveness will make it easier to not read comments, and skim through emails written to drag you through the mud. You’ll forgive friends who believe the things being said about you, and you’ll forgive the same detractors your friends are reacting to.

Most of all, a sense of forgiveness will protect your actions from being ordered by anything other than what you discover truth to be. You’ll find it easier to simply stay the course on what you believe the right path to be. You won’t fall victim to emotional responses, or vengeful tactics. Forgiveness will be a counter-intuitive but powerful weapon to use in your arsenal against those who wish you nothing but the worst.

Recommended Book: The 4-Hour Workweek.

Read our analyses of current events by becoming a Patron.

Disclaimer of Opinion: This article is presented only as opinion. It does not make any scientific, factual, or legal claims in any way.